My Spectacles

Why does it have to look good on everybody else and not on me?

Naiinggit ako dun sa mga naka-eyeglasses na bagay sa kanila, kase I still fantasize about wearing one that would make me look endearing and stylish. Medyo marami na rin ang naisukat ko pero walang bumagay talaga e. Alam mo yung kahit walang grado. Basta may maisuot lang. Pero kunyari ay para mabawasan ang effect ng radiation galing sa monitor. Pathetic ba? Walang pakielamanan ah!

“Hindi malabo ang mata mo, mataas lang ang blood pressure,” sabi ng optometrist (ba yun? O ophthalmologist) na pinagpatinginan ko nung high-school pa ko. May mga dalawang buwan ko rin kasing kinulit ang nanay ko na magpasukat na ako ng salamin dahil sumasakit na kako ang ulo ko at may diperensya ata ako sa mata. Disappointment…ang inabot ko nang imbes na ang pinapangarap kong salamin e isang bote ng garlic supplement ang bitbit ko pauwi. Brod!!!...Garlic supplement!!!...Na pag uminom ka sa umaga e maghapon mong ididighay!

Gusto ko. For no important reason. Hindi ko pwedeng ipilit. Hindi talaga para saken.

Hmmm…isa ito sa mga naranas ko sa buhay na nagpapatunay na kahit sa mga simpleng bagay ay nagkukubli ang kaibuturan ng kaalaman.

Sabagay, sa ipis nga e meron akong natutunan eh: ang katuparan ng ‘kadiri-to-death.’ Nyahaha!!! Yun bang sobrang kadiri e makakapatay ka ng tao. Ano, gusto mong i-try?

Sinigang na ulo-ulo ng ipis
Minatamis na ipis
Bagoong na ipis

Ano…tuloy lang?

Eto cute: ipis supplement.

Hindi ko maalis sa buhay ko yung pangarap na magkasalamin kase it represents my pretensions and insecurities in life and how I struggle for them to not manifest. And actually, it’s nice that everytime I think about it I get reminded that I cannot just have anything that I desire. And that if what I badly want doesn’t really fit me, then the fact that I’m never going to have it should be easier to accept.

I'm keeping my spectacles.

Ano sa English

Muntik nakong mahulog sa kinauupuan ko kagabe by the entrance of the building where I work nung maka-receive ako ng message na “Pre, ano sa english yung pambomba ng inidoro? Txtbk.” Pucha talaga! San nanggaling yun?! initial reaction ko. The message came from one of my dearest friends (a kumpare, in fact) whom I’ve long come to appreciate over years of sad and happy moments that we shared together with the relatively small circle of friends that we have.

Hindi ko alam, pero what probably took me off was how it came as something that’s totally unexpected, pero alam mong smart humor kaya it was hilarious.

Nung tanungin ko kung “Saan naman nanggaling yan?!” Sabi e “may 100 ang unang makahula dito samen e.” Apparently, parang trip trip nilang magkakasambahay. Nung i-text back ko sa kanya kung “sink pump” ba yung sagot, hiniritan pa ako ng “ah, ganun b? kla ko kse toilet bomb eh.” Utangnaloob!

It amazes and saddens me how I can easily get accustomed to the scripts that I need to portray day-in, day-out. Alam mo yung you wake up in the morning, go to work, have some laughs and chats during the day, go home, sleep, only to wake up the next morning and perform the same routine all over again.

I think what my kumpare just made me realize was nangangalawang na ako sa aking sense of humor, and quite possibly on some other aspects of my life.

This poses a challenge to me to break out of my routine and get a different perspective.

I'm keeping in touch with friends as I might just get pleasantly surprised by them.